What is compassion?

Definitions of compassion from academic sources

Altruism - helping others at the potential peril of yourself or family (Kristen Renwick Monroe).

Compassion - “sense of concern that arises when we are confronted with another’s suffering and feel motivated to see that suffering relieved” (Thupten Jinpa).

Compassion - involves the recognition and clear seeing of suffering. Feelings of kindness appear; and then the desire to help - to ameliorate the suffering - emerges (Kristin Neff).

Further thoughts on the meaning of compassion

Renwick Monroe:

The more altruistic, the more the perspective that we are all one. There is the potential for altruism in everyone, but some people are bigger altruists because of their view on humanity.

Sharon Salzberg:

Quote: by Nisargadatta Maharaj - “Wisdom tells me I am nothing. Love tells me I am everything. Between the two my life flows.”

From Sharon: “I am nothing” does not mean that there is a bleak wasteland within. It does mean that with awareness we open to a clear, in impeded space, without center or periphery - nothing separate. If we are nothing, there is nothing at all to serve as a barrier to our boundless expression of love. Being nothing in this way, we are also, inevitably, everything. “Everything” does not mean self-aggrandizement, but a decisive recognition of interconnection; we are not separate. Both the clear, open space of “nothing” and the interconnectedness of “everything” awaken us to our true nature. 

“[Mudita] (sympathetic joy) gives solace to the compassionate heart so that we do not feel flooded or overwhelmed by pain. Compassion guards mudita, and mudita guards compassion. Together in their complementary ways the two keep us from building barriers behind which we confine ourselves to experiencing only a narrow segment of life. And because mudita energizes us, it also helps compassion to be active. We can take the joy of mudita and use it to help translate our inner experience of compassion into an outward act of service in the world.”

Thupten Jinpa:

Compassion is a seed in all of us. Compassion’s innate quality is more like our ability to learn a language, less like eye color. People like mother Theresa and the Dalai Lama worked to grow that seed. They got good at compassion.  

“It’s not that we somehow have to make ourselves be kind and make ourselves be happy because we know it’s how we “should” be. It’s that being kind, to ourselves and to others, makes us happy.”

“Compassion’s near enemy is pity. Unlike genuine compassion, pity implies a sense of superiority. So, unlike compassion, which connects us with the object of our concern because we identify, pity distances us from the other person. Compassion includes respect: we honor the other person’s dignity as a fellow human being. Our concern, if it comes from genuine compassion, is based on the recognition that, just like I do, this person wishes to be free from suffering.”

“Without attention, there is no empathy and understanding; and without these there is no compassion. It’s as simple as this.”

“Lovingkindness is the wish for someone to be happy, and compassion is the wish for someone to be free from suffering.” (These are two of the four immeasurables)

“When we honor our wish for happiness, it becomes a tremendous inner resource. Abs because this wish comes from the core of our humanity, by embracing it we embrace everyone who shares it, which is to say: everyone.”

“The more excessive our self-preoccupation, the greater our vulnerability to feelings of slight and hurt. In contrast, a compassionate mindset is necessarily less self-preoccupied, more at ease, less inhibited. It’s no exaggeration to say that through connection with others, we become free.”

“Compassion is part of the innate disposition we share as humans. If we embrace it and nurture it, compassion can offer a universal basis for the ethics that define us, together, as moral beings.”

“Empathy is critical to elicit our compassion, but if we get stuck in the empathy zone (of emotional resonance) it can be draining and lead to feelings of powerlessness and burnout. Compassion, by contrast, is a more empowered state in which we put our energy into wishing that others be free of suffering, and wanting to do something about it. What we need, at least for most of us ordinary souls, is a healthy balance between focusing on ourselves and focusing on others. This way, we do not fall into either of the two extremes of excessive self-occupation or obsessive caregiving.”

“Imagine what our world would be like if each one of us made compassion the organizing principle of our life.”

“So the goal of cultivating compassion is both ambitious and radical. It is to transform our very being, and profoundly change how we behave in the world. This is true spiritual transformation.”

“Compassion is an empowered state.” (It involves action and wishing someone to be free of suffering - as opposed to empathy, where you can get stuck in the feeling and fall into despair) 

Kristin Neff:

Self-esteem vs. self-compassion: “It is only when we fall into the trap of believing that we are ‘distinct entities’ that the issue of self-esteem even comes into play... Happiness - real lasting happiness- can be best experienced when we are engaged in the flow of life - connected to rather than separate from everything else.”

“Research shows that the more your overall sense of self worth is dependent on success in particular life areas, the more generally miserable you feel when you fail in those areas.”

“When qualities of kindness, common humanity and mindfulness are applied toward the suffering of others, they manifest as compassion. When they’re applied to our own suffering, they manifest as self-compassion. When they’re directed toward others’ positive qualities, they manifest as mudita: sympathetic joy. And when they’re directed toward our own positive qualities, they manifest as self-appreciation.”